Daisey’s Wisdom: To Forgive is to Live!

Written by Kathryn Savage

Last week a Michigan woman, Daisey Bailey, celebrated her 113th birthday. Securing her rank as the oldest person in Michigan is a major milestone. Celebrating her 113th birthday surrounded by family and friends is an even greater achievement.

It is believed Daisey was born on March 30th, 1895. In her lifetime, she has witnessed the women’s suffrage victory, the civil rights movement, the 20th Century World Wars, the invention of Spam lunch meat, the moon launch, and the internet. She has outlived 4 of her children as well as a couple of husbands.

So what are Daisey’s longevity secrets?
Does she drink a glass of red wine with every day? Does she eat well? Exercise?

As numerous reporters questioned Daisey about her long life and her recipe for longevity, she answered simply. Daisey says prayer, love, forgiveness and eating your vegetables are her secret to a long life.

Alexander Pope once said, “To err is human; to forgive, divine." What, if any, are the physiological benefits of forgiveness?

Scientific research indicates that there is a correlation between forgiveness and a reduced stress response. A 2001 study found that when participants were encouraged to think forgiving thoughts their stress response (EMG, heart rate, blood pressure) greatly reduced. A number of potential health benefits of forgiveness are:

1. Reduced bodily stress response
2. Lower anxiety
3. Decreased substance abuse
4. A happier state of mind

How to Forgive?
Katherine M. Piderman, Ph.D., staff chaplain at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota, in her essay “Forgiveness: How to let go of grudges and bitterness,” Describes forgiveness as an act that is a “commitment to a process of change.”

We are used to thinking about forgiveness in simple terms: I’m sorry ... I forgive you ... let’s move on. Maybe that explains why the notion of forgiveness, to me anyway, seems so hard. Sure, we can forgive and forget when someone budges in line at the movie theater. We can philosophize about forgiveness, but can we really forgive when friends, family and relationships fail to live up to our expectations? Fail to meet our needs? As Dr. Piderman explains, forgiveness “can be difficult and it can take time ... everyone moves toward forgiveness a little differently.”

Dr. Piderman suggests that we recognize the value of forgiveness and its importance in our lives. To move forward it is important to “reflect on the facts of the situation, how we’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected our lives, our health and our well-being.”

The power of forgiveness is enormous. When we practice forgivness we take a proactive role in our happiness by relinquishing “the control and power the offending person and situation have had in our lives.”

And what happens to that soggy old grudge? Dr. Piderman explains “As we let go of grudges, we'll no longer define our lives by how we've been hurt, and we may even find compassion and understanding.” Letting go of old grudges, no longer feeling defined by ways we’ve been hurt, and taking back power where once we felt powerless. If that’s not a reason to forgive the guy who cut me off in traffic this morning, I don’t know what is!

For further reading on the health benefits of forgiveness, check out Dr. Piderman’s full article.

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